Tired of being strong..

I tend to be silent when I'm really screaming inside.

Typically something happens , I share it and away we go. Except some things are so heavy, they are things I struggle even to share with the people closest to me. But sometimes a share is something someone else needs.  To know they are not alone.

So here it goes…

I have been struggling. I am a happy person about 80% of the time. 90% on a good week. I fight hard for it. I wasn’t always. A happy person.

However, over the last 2 months, the stress of work, my personal life, a health scare hitting me. I have been holding it together with duct tape and bubble gum. I have done a good job of putting on a brave face but when I’m alone I’m at my worst. I’m quick to cry anyway. Stopping is hard. Starting is way too easy.

While I don’t have the dictionary definition of depression. I do have these moments. If I’m being honest, I’m embarrassed that I do. Why in my life is so bad? I should be able to handle it. At least that is the tape that plays in my head.

I don’t look depressed.

The reality is I’m fighting.

and I know, some of us just hide our battles.

Please know I’m not making light of this but I am definitely trying to lighten the mood.

For me, for you.

I shared this, so you know we all have our moments.

Those moments don’t define you. Those moments don’t make you any less fantastic.

Those moments make you – you..

Totin Jamain
I give myself the luxury of saying what I want.